Wednesday, April 27, 2005
hey..
u know i had the weirdest sensation when i woke up today. i felt sad.. yet elated at the same time.. why? cos of a dream i had. it involved me and one of my exs. it was so weird cos i felt the same way i feel now.. indifference to him and only friendship. but then he wrote me a letter telling me he still loves me. and i was so touched. he gave me the letter cos he had to sail off somewhere.i know he wrote in brown ink.. it was all over the place..
i dunno.. as i was saying.. i felt touched that he still loves me all this while and well i felt bad i dint get to say something before he left..
thats mosty what i remember now.. but i still remember how i felt when i woke up.. i felt elated that i was loved.. then sad cos its just a dream and he definitely does not in real life. but its so weird that i would think of him.. worse still once when i was praying.. in the middle of it.. i suddenly thought of him. it felt strange. i stopped thinking abt him years ago.. and why now suddenly? i really wonder..
he has moved on and so have i. i know i have moved on. am i that lonely? that i crave to have that sort of companionship now? i dunno.. i used to be happy. but after a taste of love(lust).. i dunno if i can ever feel happy being on my own. it downright stinks. do i really have to change myself to get what i crave? or will there really be someone out there who likes me the way i am; so out of the societal mould?? oh well.. i guess i will have to wait and see.
good day
Bob Smurf at 3:28 PM