Friday, October 28, 2005
Happy Tree Friends
i had a really wonderful time last night.. like seriously la.. cos my best friends of all time. Shaf Geet And Nuha. the Busty.. the dont-believe-her-innocent-face .. and the Horny respectively.. wahahaha evilness..ok well.. we met up yesterday and it was very very ultimately fun on everyone's part.. i forgot to bring my camera!!! sadness. but.. shaf's phone cam was pretty good nonetheless.. haha so here are the pictures i ripped off shaf's blog.. haha thanx girls.. mUackz!
Bob Smurf at 2:24 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Recovered a lost key
hello! its been quite awhile since ive written.. haha 3 days? maybe? hehe.. but its true.. i miss my avid readers.. yes you! but i dont really have anything in particular to talk about. since ive exhausted 2 whole lifetimes of drama in the short months of sept/early oct. what is there left except to talk about.. noneother than myslef. haha... u can choose to stop reading now. but u will be missing out on the good stuff. trust me. really..for those who really have nothing to do.. carry on please...___________________________________________________________________________________
Sleep
as of right now, my sleep count in terms of hours would have to be approximately 4 hours. its not that i do projects or anything. but a certain really good friend of mine seems to find it rather amusing keeping me awake trying to fix computers in the middle of the night.. *ahem* morning. im not complaining really. im just sleepy. and sleepy people really have this cranky disposition abt them thats irritating sometimes..oh.. did i mention.. i almost fell in the LT just now? as in i got up from my seat and felt myself being so unstable i could have fallen down the treacherous steps of the fateful lt10. and thank goodness even if i did.. the eonly person there to laugh/help would be the lecturer and a few other stragglers.. how nice. haha.. but yes.. i could not concentrate on my lecture.. it was really intriguing stuff abt orientalism and muslim images in the world.. sadly halfway through the lecture Mr sandman was already sanding my eyes.. oh well.. at least i got the gist of the lecture... i think...
Cars
Has anybody ever told u that a car is an investment? not in singapore it isnt.. its way way to expensice for me to afford even the damn steering wheel. like seriously! im broke half the time so yes.. even though it may just cost $14.75, i still cant afford it.. Hah! there are so many cute cars parked at the school forum area today and yesterday and probably tmr. nice lime green ones.. yum! haha
...ok i think i have to go now.. need to do work.. later!
Bob Smurf at 1:18 PM
Friday, October 14, 2005
what is to be done
what is it with people and weight? some prefer the thin stick types whilst others prefer the buxom big types.. im neither really. haha i sort of fall in between the categories. (this is of course the types guys go for and not the other way around).when i was younger, i used to be teased at and jeered because of my weight. ok i was a little girl who was bursting from my own seams but thing is.. i can over time deal with outsiders who tease me but family? thats just traumatic.
yes i was trauatised abt weight since i was a little girl of abt 5 years old. it does not help that my cousins are stick thin and thus considered 'gorgeous'? i think i grew up with these values instilled in me.. i thus have an inferiority complex and weight issues. i tried to stop eating when i was younger.. ad yeah i did lose the weight but when i finally realised how unhealthy i was i hated myself.. and the guy i lost the weight for rAn off with a girl who was bigger than me. such irony!
but still weight has been a social issue for ages.. but they always target the fat people. why? there are the skinny people who look like they need to be spoon fed some nutrition.i mean why the target of humiliation has to be on fat people i have no idea why. not that im condoning being fat cos it is unhealthy. i am trying to lose my weight now. and im extremely happy my sister has lost so much over the time she has spent at gym.. good on ya!
and yes i think all this weight loss hype is helping these gyms rake in the money(for those who want a healthier way to lose weight). the other half do it the easy way by going to slimming centres. dont they know they are just losing water? and these slimming centres make u not eat stuff u want..
dont u just wish there was a miracle drug that allows u to eat and the more fatty things u eat the more weight u lose? thus, the healthier u eat the more u gain weight..hahah thats actually bad.. pple will die sooner due to 1) too little fat in thier bodies and 2) to much unhealthy food.. clogs the arteries)
oh well.. life goes on.. im trying a new way to lose weight.. something i tried before but never had the will power to do so. i think all i need is the guy of my dreams rejecting me then i can lose it.. haha how tragic.. but u know what im gonna lose it then be extremely unhappy with myself.. sadness.. haha but im gonna be thinner for it. haha that'll show them!
(by the way.. i lost 2 kg from 1. fasting 2. being sick 3. being hurt haha emotionally (u know how it affects ure mood to eat? hahah yeap)just like mr burn.. my mr burn hahah oh well.. life goes on..
life is good when u are not in depression haha lalala.. but i need to multiply the number that i lost by 10 then ill be happy.. lose the 20kg then im gonna be perfect. absolutely perfect.. hahah (ok.. im sounding deranged.. lala) maybe i am..
okla.. i need to sleep now. im gonna be a farmer's wife with 10 goats and 50 sheep. come to my house and ill let u have goats' milk for breakie lunch and dinner.. yum! hahahah maddness...
ok later
Bob Smurf at 1:33 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
i will always love you
today id like to complain. and whine. and be awfully difficult. cos.. i am sick. i have been sick since yesterday.. and after the blow to my heart yesterday.. i guess my health hasnt been too good. i stayed in bed today. i didnt go to school today. i slept after being drugged. and only woke up at abt 6 plus.. supposed to go geylang for the bazaar with fonzy but i dont think i can make it.. im still feeling weak. thank goodness today is just lecture day.to *Fairy: thanx for the advice.. but i think im gonna take it slow for a while..im not giving up on the friendship. im just having a time off.. for the time being.
lets start with a week..then maybe a month.. then lets see what happens ok?
like Israel Kamakawiwo'ole sang:
"Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?"
so yeah there are brighter days when im feeling better in health and in heart. but right now i have to put everything aside and concentrate on my research papers and upcoming exams.. ill not come this far and lose everything now. so.. bring it on!
Bob Smurf at 8:02 PM
Monday, October 10, 2005
angels in america
she says:" In the entire world, you are the only peron, the only person i love or have ever loved. And i love you terribly. Terribly. That's what makes it so awful, irreducibly real. i can make up anything, but i cant dream that away."
Just something from class today.. those in ts will know.. man.. its such a gripping scene. but i feel the same way as she. a pleading feeling that cannot be answered.. looking for that second chance and recognition of their past. i know its awfully lame of me to write all this about you. sometimes even i think you dont deserve this. but what can i do. its hit me hard. i want to forget you. but i cant. i dont think pleading for that second chance will work because you dont and wont feel the same way. you ask me what i apologise for. i apologise for being in love with you. i apologise because i want you to still be my friend. i apologise because im torn between friendship and deeper feelings. its complicated. but maybe.. ure right: it's probably nothing
dont get me wrong.. i value ure friendship like nobody's business.. its real for me. its the deepest that i know. the level of trust i have with you is unlike anything. i love being your friend and insulting the socks off you. haha but sometimes ure so 'sensitive'.. where's the balls then huh?? haha..ok crudeness..
right.. so im going off now.. wanna go play age of mythology.. muakcz!
Bob Smurf at 8:12 PM
pickies
****I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! MUACKZ!****My besties at LJ.. hehe.. oohh... juicy.. haha
nice pic nuha.. im soooo not putting up my own pic.. haha this outside cineleisure
whats so funny up there??
us again.. aint we purrty?
yep.. attempt at being paparazzi
someone very proud of her school.. lalala.. not mentioning which one..
yes.. i went crazy too
aint we insane people so happy together??
nuha's 2nd turn at fame.. no tim burton forgot abt her application sadly..
Bob Smurf at 7:49 PM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
this is nuha the funny girl who's really extraordinarily insane
this is shaf the best friend everybody wants..someone who's uber gorgeous! but doesnt know it.. sigh..
this is geet.. super smart brilliant geet who's got an ultra evil scheme under her seemingly innocent face.. hehe
this is me.. BORING!!
that's us.. being supermodels for the nest shoot for blur-r-us
Bob Smurf at 10:17 PM
How does one stop a tide of feeling called falling in love?it's almost impossible. it can happen at any juncture of your life. it can happen at the worst possible moment of your life. it can be the most unlikely person.yes.. i am in love.
but... it is too soon to reveal this to him.is it too early for me to acknowledge these feelings? he's nice. he's familiar. he's not perfect but to me other things make up for his flaws.i love the fact that he makes me feel safe. i love the fact that when i close my eyes i can picture him holding me. i love the fact that i want him to love me back.
that is a problem isnt it.. his feelings towards me. i have a feeling it will be another case of unrequited love.
it is sad. i wish i could be a different person for him but i cant. i am who i am. this is me. i am like this. it is difficult for me to change.. even though i could if he wanted me to. i will try anyway.
actually.. maybe not
Bob Smurf at 9:37 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
I watched CORPSE BRIDE!! today.. and its positively lovely... i think im gonna buy the dvd or something and own it... hehe.. so sweet la the movie...sigh.....the songs were beautiful too... sigh again...
anyway after the wonderful movie... i had a plan to meet up with K.. we were supposed to go for a play in school but when we reached the place, we decided not to.. why? i dunno.. usually im very open and up for these kinda things.. but sadly.. he did not seem to be comfortable with it..so i decided against it..
ad well.. u know.. i actually spent more than just an hour with him.. it was something we hadnt done in a long time... i can tell he likes me.. and even my friend says she can tell he likes me... BUT! sadness.. i dont think i have anything for him.. as in.. i dont feel anything for him.. its sad really..
very sad.. i think he's not my type.. it just cant be forced these kinda things... i really dont think so.. so what do i do?
do i tell him i just wanna be friends? he'll never speak to me again!.. he's been rejected too many times.. its bad for his health... but at the same time.. i dont wanna mislead him... i dont want him thinking i like him adn want something more out of this...
its just... sadness.. i wish i did love him.. but i dont.. and one does not force these kinda things...(emphasis.. thus reinforcement)
oh well.. i think i may have fallen for A.W again... but im hesitant.. its too early to tell.. and besides.. i think he doesnt want a gf... so best i can do is be his friend still...
oh what dramas i lead... i dont need to go for theatre productions.. i have my own right here!! sans lighting, make up and lines.. very modernistic indeed.. Brecht would have been proud..
BUT anyway.. my outing with my best friends of all time yesterday was brilliant!!! i have to post the pics up soon... hahah naughty naughty us.. hahaha
lalala... i dunno if i should post some of the pics..
hahah i have to censor some la..weeee.. life is good..
im going kl tmr..
need to charge camera... need to charge mp3 playa... lalala.. need to pack... hahahagd night babies... muackz
Bob Smurf at 1:14 AM