Sunday, November 13, 2005
Lies & More Lies
How is it that my radar for 'creepazoids' is always accurate except for maybe one or two times? it especially sucks when that creepazoid is your close friend. i feel betrayed.. and hurt and especially well.. sad. but it cant be helped. one's stripes can only be seen when he or she wishes it to right? thats what i think anyway.
its pretty crazy really. can u believe i actually fell for it? i hate being used. not many people know why but its very sickening when someone who does, does it to me. this is not a confrontation.. nor is it because u think im jealous. im actually very happy for you because you obviously deserve her. but does she deserve you? hahah ok that was mean. but u hurting me was meaner.
correct me if im wrong but... u knew i liked you. and u still carried on with your stories abt ure 'dates' and ure 'potentials' like as though im someone who doesnt have feelings. well ure wrong.. the way i see it, ure the one without. and yeah well.. it also made me realise something when u said that u 'realised' u dont like malay girls. ok well.. hmm.. gd for .. all the malay girls?? i should think so.
so... the way i see it.. when u got angry at me for asking if u had not gotten over someone (who is now currently ure girlfriend).. that was pretty unfair wasnt it? and
im the one who had to apologise for bringing the matter up? right....
well.. what i really wanna know is.. why are you doing all this? Mogi thinks it could be because i may have hurt u in the past or something. i thought about it.. and i dont recall anything. everyone ive talked to thinks ure scum and its slowly dawning on me that ure using me too. (i know its very late of me to know this but at least now i see the light).
what hurt the most is that i trusted you. u knew what i hated and yet.. u did exactly the same thing. there are many aspects of being used. not just the other night. but all the while.. when things dint work out between u and some girl ud come running back to me. now that ure finally with ure future wife... i dont think i exist for you anymore. no blimp on the radar at all. ok fine. im fine with that.
many people tell me to forget abt you. i intend to do so.. really i do. but i dont think i will. i wont because it sickens me to think that pple out there are still deceived by u. and i want to make sure u dont hurt somebody as deeply as u have hurt me. it really hurts but this time im not gonna be the one apologising. i dont care about ure ego. i have my own life.. and please tell ure FAIRY that i agree some friendships are not meant to be let go. but please also enlighten her.. before she thinks im mad that some pple respect their friends and at least has an ounce of care for the friend. i guess u dont fit the bill as a friend.. cos u obviously dont respect me nor do you care abt me.
its sad. i really liked u. i would have done anything for u. but its a good thing we didnt work out. because... on my rib there lies someone else's name.
p/s: thanx to all who listened and gave me advice. thanx to all who were there thru my tough times.. when some pple just dismissed me by saying that 'i think too much'. i love u guys... muackz... lets put an end to this shit alright? haha
Ana
Bob Smurf at 2:01 AM