Thursday, March 30, 2006
Chick Flick
ok so me and my best buds had our bi-weekly meeting thing yesterday.. It was fun-tastic.. sorry im being macD's a bit.. highly lame but then again the legs arent really in good shape are they?? hahaha ok nvm.. being 'lame' again..we took some pics on shaf's cam which were ok.. i mean well if u take away the pimples, sweat shines, fats, hairs.. basically everything.. it would have been perfect.. hahaah just kidding shaf.. just shows ure cam is SUPER clear.. hahaha
anyways.. we took some pics.. hehe neoprint pics la.. damn cute.. i looked fat as usual.. stole nuha's star wars cap.. dressed kinda formal cos i had a presentation in school yesterday which bombed.. hahah lalala.. but i dont wanna think abt that..i miss my besties already...
here's the pic!
yep yep.. long time ago when neos were cheap and simple.. hahaha now they ar like 9 bucks!!! so ex la.. sigh~.. hha but no worries.. we are all good looking pple.. haha
oohh.. i want to get these!! please please please someone get them for me!!!! (nuha?) hahah yeah well.. the shipping is damn expensive la.. US$20.75 for each shipping +handling fee.. damn ex.. haiz..
but yes.. these are the thingies i want sooo much!!
aren;t they gorgeous??? i love invader zim!! he's sooooo diabolically stupid! haha buy me invader zim stuff! hahaha
oh wellz.. hang out with me soon yeah?
Ana
p/s: thanx to all who cared.. *-GrinZ-*
Bob Smurf at 8:21 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
lives and loves
i owe pple money.. i need to pay them before i forget and go on with my life.. it's very scary.. my religious teacher is getting to me..1) i owe person A abt $200 odd.. since end of sec 4.. hmm.. it's been 4 years..
2) i 'borrowed' some money from person B who is very close to me.. he doesnt know i took the money.. thus the "". i owe him abt $200 odd too. sheesh.. im thinking of just putting the money back.. i took the money when i was much much younger.. been abt 2 yrs already.. sigh~.. need to pay back..sigh~
someone help!!!.. i need to pay back these pple before i die.. and before they die.. sadness.. i dont wanna burn in hell. i need to get a job.
u know the hardest part is when i have to tell them abt the money that im paying back.. sigh~.. especially person B.. he might be really pissed at me.. sigh~.. but the worst is to see him really disappointed in me.. sigh~..
im such a horrible person.
i lied to some guy who likes me just now.. he asked me what i was doing and even though i was at home watching the simpsons on cable.. i told him i was out with a guy friend and we were gonna watch a movie. he got really pissed at me cos firstly i was with a guy and it was not him.. and secondly.. we were gonna watch a movie. i then told him that this guy friend of mine already has a gf and that we were just friends.. but i dont think he gets it.. he still thinks im gonna do something awful.. sigh~ am i that evil?? yeah.. i just wanted to see his reaction.. if only he didnt tell me he missed me so much.. or that he really wants to talk to me.. or if he didnt ask m whereabouts 24/7.. i mean he'd be a nice friend.. a pretty decent guy i wouldnt mind getting to know him better.. sigh~... i told my mom abt him.. she wasnt too happy either.. oh well.
give me hope.. give me strength..give me the faith to carry on.
Ana
Bob Smurf at 10:43 PM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
lala land and the cows of tomorrow
seeing her with someone else today was quite a shocker to my system that she'd moved on so fast..i mean what went thru my mind when she arrived with her new bf was that someone i know did a stupid thing letting her go. i mean thats my thinking anyway.. he might just retort and tell me that it doesnt really bother him anymore. oh well.. on one hand im glad she's found another happy relationship.. but on the other.. i feel that that someone made a grave mistake in letting her go..but then... ah never mind la.. what's past is past..one thing good is.. she's still my friend..i hope..
im still in a state of depression.. i have no freaking idea why.. this is very depressing. i need some excitement in my life.. i want to go to spain and portugal with my parents.. but they cant afford to take me with them.. i feel like crying... im sleepy.. maybe i should just sleep..i have a performance tmr i school.. and NONE of my friends can make it.. not even my family wants to come by.. (even more depressing right?) sometimes i feel this certain friend of mine is just using me.. not really a friend.. but a user.. when that person feels im pulling away.. that person will call and get my attention again.. but when im finally paying attention that person conveniently ignores me. righto friendo.. u-o sucko!
i lead such an unfulfilled life. why? i feel unsatisfied with anything i do.. maybe turning to God will give me the answer.. i dont know.. maybe.. ive been soo caught up with this life i keep forgetting the other. i am an empty vessel that yearns to die off.. like a flickering candle light at the end of its wick. i want to be a glamourous rockstar yet life and looks do not permit. i want to have it all yet i am holding myself back. conciously keeping myself abrest from what i yearn to have. i want it all..i want it all.. i just want you.
money is the root of all evil.. it is also the root of all evil. i want a freaking job... yet i dont have the time to get one. i am useless. i hate myself.. have i told u that? give me a reason to keep on living. i am depressed. i am fucking depressed. who is this person that has 2 lives? the one on the outside and the one within? i try to show my inside feelings on the outside but pple have grown so accustomed to the 'outside' me that they dont feel comfortable being around me as 'me'. i dont think anybody understands me. i dont want to get older.. things get harder when i do.. i want to be in my room.. help my parents out with anything they want.. i hate to see them sad.. i hate to see myself sad. but then.. who really cares abt me right? break a leg for tmr!
Bob Smurf at 1:09 AM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
feeling absolutely listless
Dear me,why is it that i am feeling listless? i was quite happy a semester ago. life was much more (somewhat) simpler then. go to school. go for dance. go hang out with friends. do term papers. study for exams. finished.
this semester however, i have been promoted to a position that i was given and not asked if i accepted. i felt like there where other people who were more deserving. i am still not stable in my studies or my existence in NUS to be given such a huge responsibility..ok fine..its a puny role of liason officer but hey.. its still a position of office. damn it. i think i want to quit after ive served my term. i dont think i can cope with this anymore. i think my existence in NUS should and SHALL remain non-existent for the benefit of myself and others who dont wanna get to know me.
the guy i was talking about previously has seen my true colours..i cant stand mats.. not the on the floor types.. the really obnoxious, irritating types. maybe its just me.. im being emotional? yeah maybe my time of month is coming? maybe..maybe.. i think we all have a bit of a homocidal maniac in all of us.. it just shows in varying stages. maybe u like killing people. maybe you like killing animals. ive done it..the animals that is.. but it haunts me.. and i still am repenting. (its not funny really if u think abt it)
Arctic monkeys are playing on the radio. they actually sound pretty good. but if u listen to the same song every morning from eunos to clementi it can get pretty sucky. i want to go for jason mraz. i like to entertain the idea that i want to go.. but i dont think i want to part with my money just to see a man perform. haha perform. i am feeling very listless. im hating everything abt what i am going through right now.. i want to just drop everything and do what i wanna do.. slack at home and just not do anything in particular.
-maybe i could learn to skate? to ice skate? to play ice hockey? i think its cool. and not many people will believe me though. i hate school. i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hate school.. i could have gone on longer but i think i dont want to spoil my lappy keys. -*muackz* -loves laptop-.. one of things i cherish.. my laptop. dont get me wrong.. i dont mind going for classes.. i think when i put my mind to doing my work.. its not so bad.. but i hate doing groupwork.. i hate interacting with people.. do i really need to speak? can i just be invisible? i am sooo mundane looking and grossly fat that people fail to notice me. i think i have become invisible. i hate NUS guys who think they are -holier-than-thou-.. please la.. u guys already have a *cannot make it* reputation since a long time ago.. so maybe when i have a son.. i wont send him to NUS.. oh wait.. i forgot.. i wont even be in Singapore. hopefully my offspring wont need to suffer as i have. they will have a childhood and a good education to boot.
i pity my parents.. what kind of life is this that thay still have got to pay so much even after retirement??? what kind of life is this?? i am the investment. i am still only the youngest.. there's nothing i can do to change their situation. any friend of mine knows how much i want to migrate. only a stupid friend will hold me back and wish my plane to crash. still.. stupid or not.. still a friend. im a bitter biatch.
trying to keep going but for how long?
Ana
Bob Smurf at 11:19 PM