Friday, April 27, 2007
say that again??
recently a guy asked me why i dont have sex.. why i am still a virgin.. cos according to him.. virginity is overrated. rightt.. i told him.. i dont have it cos i think SEX is overrated. i mean there's so much of it on tv.. and magazines.. and books.. and well.. u get what i mean .. its everywhere.. so why is being a virgin overrated? its becoming something most pple dont have at this day and age. ( and im saying this not cos im a single fat lonely 21 yr old.. but im saying this cos.. well.. cos i just have to.. haha)
well after i had a small discussion with the guy abt what to do with his ever-ready dick..(yeah mr.. im not abt to have sex with u ..hahaha yeah i figured he just wanted me to have sex with him. stupid).. i did some thinking. and sex.. hmm..its no longer as taboo as it was before.. back when me asking my uncle what a virgin was would draw gasps and giggles from neighbouring ears.
now.. writing abt it on a blog.. wont get me censored. (*gasp!*) at least i hope so anyway.. haha so what im asking.. is virginity overrated? if it is.. why?
vast majority of my friends who are virgins.. tell me why? or why not?
*p/s: if u bring in religion, sin or STDs.. i will smack u so hard ull see China..(unless u already are in China.. then ull see Iraq) cos those types or arguments are like ~DUH hahaha
Bob Smurf at 12:04 AM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
bad dream; good dream
i dreamt of him last night.. the one that left.. it was a curious dream really. i dreamt he came back. i dreamt he said he was sorry. i dreamt we made up.. i dreamt i gave him a hug and told him i really really missed him. its amazing really.. does my subconcious really feel that way abt him when my concious.. well i dont scathingly hate him.. not anymore anyway.. but i just am indifferent.
i guess in a sense.. i lost a friend. someone i had pretty fun times with. and i lost him not when he left.. but when i did.. when i left him. its not worth it.. i told myself.. he wants other girls... was probably going for other girls.. and i think he misunderstood me. i dont know.. he's gone now. no use talking abt him. just very curious i should dream about him.
plus.. new guy. hahah nothing exciting really.. a match job.. hahah which i honestly think wont work out cos i think he is expecting a slim fair long haired girl.. who is preferably soft spoken and demure.. hmm.. well my friends.. u all know me right? err.. i dont think im like that at all.. haha
my aunts.. (they're the ones who did the matching).. i think they expect a bit too much.. thay want me to act demure.. to learn how to cook.. to slim down.. to eat less to pretend i have never had a bf.. its shocking really.. hahah i really think its shocking..
first of all.. the guy hasnt really spoken to me at all.. too shy? i dunno.. from what they told me.. he's tall, thin and good looking.. right.. and err.. just recently broke up with his girlfriend.. oh.. and did i mention.. he's 29.
my parents want this to work out.. its scary.. seriously scary.. i dont even know this guy and pple already want me to get hitched to him?? damn scary..
plus.. i think his mom is pretty scary too.. erm.. only graduate son.. who is a financial analyst.. works for an american firm.. if im not wrong la.. scary.. like.. u know what comes into my head.. the whole scary mother in law knife wielding sort... sorry sikit la.. im not the type to pretend to be someone else just to please pple. like seriously la..
sigh. well.. this is something new.. cos the guy hardly spoke to me when he texted me.. and when online.. he hardly talked anyway.. hmm.. too shy perhaps? or still pining for the old gf that left for aussie? hmmm... i wonder.. hahaha seriously ana.. what are u doing??
Labels: dream
Bob Smurf at 9:01 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
the uninvited
there's a party.. a Geburtstagparty.. and i dont think im invited.. yet a lot of pple assume that i am. and are wondering if im going. haha.. interesting.. what goes around comes around. but im not overly concerned la.. i mean.. she is a friend but im not that close to her la. not a prob.even if she is a celeb's daughter.. and her party is gonna be really big and stuff.. bet there'll be loads of pple who are going. nvm.. i hav to stay home and be a good girl..
study for exams..
should i tell them i wasnt invited? and risk sounding like a bitter uninvited brat? hmm. no.
anyway.. of all the rotten luck.. my foreign policy lecturer lost my assignment! and i think i have to redo it. rotten luck indeed. its not my fault ok.. so not my fault he freaking lost it.. grr
in other news.. as i was driving to bedok reservoir today.. i saw the bike of my dreams.. a ducati.. a red one.. its amazing.. its the second one ive seen so far.. its soo cool la.. but i bet a class 2b wont cut it.
its such nice weather to sleep. i wanna study.. but i dunno where to start.. i really dont la..
its a sunday. and nice weather to sleep. had coffee last night.. couldnt sleep.. effects still in me.. very wide awake.
im random-ing. haha tata~
Labels: blurb
Bob Smurf at 2:30 PM
Monday, April 09, 2007
achievements and the achieved
What have i achieved so far? hmm.. i know i should be thankful for being where i am right now.. but i sometimes cant help feeling that i can achieve more.. but lack the capacity to.. why am i such a slacker? i mean seriously? i have a 4 day holiday and i only spend the last day mugging and doing my presentation.. then i complain i dont have the marks i deserve.. rightt..
ive had pretty freaky dreams the past few nights.. from having to redo my terrible video project.. (basically i spent a couple of sleepless nights just having to save the bloody thing!) to having the bf of my dreams and seeing him cheat on me with another girl.. i guess its stress..
wish i could have a bf.. i have high standards.. yet i myself am not that high standard quality type.. u know what i mean.. the thin, pretty and smart package.. yeah well.. i get it left right and centre about how i should lose weight.. yeah dammit.. i know! its just so freakin hard la.. not when my ideal weight for my height is 30kgs away! fuck it la.. sometimes i really really feel like cutting myself up.. just so that i dont have tohave these trunks for thighs and calves..
cut up the extra flab on my arms.. tummy and butt.. cut myself up.. just to be smaller.. skin will heal... in time. (thanx for the idea emz.. hehee)
i cant afford liposuction.. im afraid to take pills.. (cant afford them) and my mom keeps telling me to eat lesser than i already do.. face it pple.. im fat.. and im miserable abt it.. so shut up and leave me in peace ok? dammit
doesnt help that my grandma and bro kep telling me i wont get a bf if im this fat.. which is true.. what good is a fat girl like me who is pseudo-prude? doesnt help that pple find me a bit of a snob.. ignorant bastards.. if only they knew me..ill prove how much of a snobbish bitch i can be.
on a lighter note..
i did it..
i finally did what i had wanted to do for a while now.. it felt good.
i was reluctant at first.. scared even.. but now.. i dunno.. feels pretty good to have done it. despite pple telling me i shouldnt..
despite me having to keep it a secret.. but those whowant to know..will know..soon enough.
also.. school is ending.. and exams are coming.. im kinda dreading it.. but i feel i should start now.. before its too late to mugg.. as usual for me la
also.. cant wait to go aussie.. (where i can gain more weight! sheesh..) but meeting pple i love.. friends i miss.. and places i should have been at.
why must it be that when it comes to me.. there's no money.. something must always always come up...
why? what did i ever do to deserve the stupid life of having to stay in sg whilst my siblings and cousins enjoy the overseas study life.. SG is stupid.. the method of studying here is stupid.. the bell curve?? thats just fucking stupid. some students MUST be at the bottom.. fucking crap.
maybe ill see him again. him thats cute.. him thats single.. him thats smartass... him that i used to date... maybe ill see him again. maybe.. maybe.. then he can talk to me... and maybe ill respond.. (dream on ana.... cute smart single guys like him are sooo hot property in the market.. no chance for u la..)
oh well.. i can dream abt him again.. hopefully this time he doesnt cheat on me. wahahaha.. what rotten luck.. even in my dreams.. oh wellz. if someone can come up with a solution to make me lose 30++ kg in a few months pls do tell me.. if not.. i might lose my mind and cut myself up.. literally..i want it all off.. its horrible.. i look horrible dammit.. my clothes dont fit.. im disgusting. eegh!
Bob Smurf at 12:43 AM