Thursday, July 26, 2007
angry girl disease
im stinky, sweaty and most of all.. im dusty.. yeah.. well.. what have i been doing? ive been cleaning out my room.. making more space in my already empty room. but i cant help it.. =) maybe im just bein zen. wahaha as if.
im taking a break right now before i take a shower.. and settle in and watch the last, very last episode of fantaghiro, cave of the golden rose 4. i fell in love with kim rossi stuart and nicholas rogers when i was a child.. and now.. im in love with them all over again.. except that i realize that the show is so superficial.. it is a fairytale after all.. but still.. very nonsense.
i havent seen the sun in a couple of days.. my dark tan is fading.. hahaha its a tan that was accidental. i need to go swimming again.. i need the sun again.. i hated my pale self.. just makes me look dead.
anyway.. i wanna read harry potter book 7.. i know.. i know.. some of u have already finished it.. well.. no i didnt pre-order the book.. cos its expensive and i dont have the money to spend on it.. and no asking my parents for money is not an option. im waiting for the price to go down.. like how the nano prices will go down..
what about angry girl disease? well.. i saw it on the tyra banks show yesterday.. this girl couldnt control her anger such that there was once 3 yrs ago.. she beat up her sister over a hair straightener! her sister ended up with broken ribs and other injuries and was of course hospitalized. the girl says she couldnt remember what happened.. she supposedly blanked out or something. uncontrollable rage.. she was also kicked out from a concert for beating up a woman behind her who accidentally spilled beer over the girl's new top. i mean.. its a standing concert.. accidents are bound to happen. so well yeah.. she got kicked out from the concert.. damn scary right?
well.. i wish i had some anger like that in me.. not the full on.. but just some. there are just some pple i need to punch the living daylights out of. but no.. im unfortunately too nice.. i keep it all in me.. and then sooner or later i break out crying for no apparent reason. i think im too nice. i wish i could speak my mind without being afraid of how the other person might feel. i wish i wasnt afraid of authority figures like teachers and lecturers.. its because of this very reason that i avoid coming to school anymore than i ahve to.. i dont go seek for extra tuts or see the lecturers to improve my marks.. i just dont.. i used to be able to.. but i think back in secondary school.. all that spunk was just beaten out of me. i was embarrassed and literally beaten out of it. i couldnt deal with the hurt i was causing my parents so i decided to be nice. and to this day.. im nice. except when i really really cannot take it.
i hardly lose my temper.. unless im having a particularly bad pms day.. and then i just rant to someone else and not confront the person at fault. just cause i dont want to hurt their feelings.
oh well..
maybe i have 'stupid nice girl disease'
laterz
Bob Smurf at 6:26 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
weee~
my sister bought me a white gold with precious stones pendant. she gave me her white gold chain to wear with it. weee~
im happy! i love my sister...=)
Bob Smurf at 11:38 PM
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
dreams
i dreamt of my ex. one who is sooo long ago my ex i dont even see him as my ex.. mor elike an aquaintance now. but it wasnt a pleasant dream. i dreamt he died. in a motorcycle crash. and it freaked me out.. and im subconciously thinking why im privy to such horrendous news.. when im hardly in contact with him at all. and it freaked me out so much that he's dead. it felt so real.. the death. i dunno why after all these years i thnk of him when i havent thought about how he is in ages! like seriously lower sec ages.. but i pictured him as i knew him.. not the mat that he is now.. i could heave a sigh of relief when i saw he had emailed me today.. (its not what u think.. he sends me useless info and funny pictures in which i am included in his long email list of names) so.. yeah.. he's alive.
in other news.. i got up shortly after that bad dream to find my insurance agent texting to meet me today at 430. i havent replied.. cos i dont feel like meeting him. bleargh!.. so after reading and deleting i went back to sleep. and this time i had the weirdest dream ever.. it included pple that ive not thought about in a long time.. and recent pple too. amazing right?
it started with a whole group of secondary students.. myself included (yeah in my tkg uniform) in a parade square.. it was a mix of pple from tkgs and tk sec people. we were in some camp or something.. we all were lined up in groups of about 10 or less and told to learn how to march together.. (i think we were preparing for national day parade..)
and well.. i was sorta like in charge for the moment cos it was utter chaos.. and who do i see? but my crush of 9 yrs in one of the ranks.. and it was strange cos i dont get all tingly and excited or rubber mouthed at all at the sight of him. it was amazing. seriously.. and i was elated cos id thought id gotten over him like finally. so after this parade thing.. we were all supposed to go for classes.. malay classes and chinese classes respectively.. however.. me, nuha and 3 other chinese girls decided to hide out in the NPCC room and tlk whilst drinking some non alcoholic beer. however.. this room was located right next to where my malay class was.. and when nuha came in she had left her door open. and right at that moment.. my malay teacher.. and not my sec school teacher.. but my primary school teacher.. Cikgu Zainal came out for a smoke and caught us. he scolded nuha and told her to go to class.. i had thought i would escape by looking chinese he probably wouldnt notice.. but he did and asked me why i was drinking beer.. i was indignant.. and told him it was just non alcoholic.. so he too dragged me to class. after he finished his one cigg that is. amazing.
so i went into class.. and it was sooo packed.. and guess who i saw in the same class as me? but my crush of 9 yrs. him and the whole primary school gang that was my classmates in primary school.. except they are all grown up in their secondary school attire.. i remember seeing zul and muzzafar. adn quite possibly syaiful as well. i dint wanna sit behind them cos those were the only seats available in a seriously packed class.. but i tried everywhere and i still couldnt find a seat.. so i felt my old rebelious nature come back and basically i decided to take a seat right at the back and shove all the person's things on the floor.. i mean.. too bad right? she wasnt there to sit at her place.. who asked her to go to the loo? haha
yeah well.. that was it.. just highly amusing that i should see my old crush in my dreams again.. i had also dreamt of the stupid idiot.. but he's not worth mentioning in my blog.. (or he mihgt just bring it up again whenever we have arguments.. bleargh!)
ok well.. im gona go read order of hte phoenix now.. in conjunction to the movie opening tmr of course.. haha.. i might go watch it this friday.. i mean.. why wait so long to watch it with some people only to find out they would have already watched it.. right? be it with significant others.. or maybe with other best friends.. yeah.. ok.
laterz
Bob Smurf at 2:04 PM